@squibby, even if you probably solved this already: you're looking for connector E132 (flat, 8 pins). The manual lists it as "Blower motor relay and front fog relay", so I think it's one common relay. Command from the dash switch comes to connector E132 on pins 6 and 7 to the relay, and you get a positive signal on pin 8. A green wire splits into two wires and goes to connectors E161 and E162 (2 pins, rounded) and then to the projectors.
Location of E132 and E161/E162:
@TheOtherLeft: if you want a separate switch (not related to high beam), this is the method
